Wherever You Go Page 18

  She had never witnessed him working out, but all that mechanic work must have contributed to his defined muscles, broad shoulders, and slim waist.

  Mother Nature could be thanked for the majestic length of him. She felt herself grin wickedly as she watched his hardness wave at her.

  He remained too far away. Sure, she liked to look at him. Loved it, really. But she needed to touch him.

  Getting on all fours, she prowled over to the edge of the bed and growled at him playfully.

  “Bring the show over here.” She wiggled her eyebrows in a way that she hoped was enticing.

  He did as directed, and she found herself face to, well, not face, with the part of him he had kept hidden for too long.

  She grabbed his hips and pulled him to her. She licked his length, swirled her tongue around his tip, and finally took him into her mouth, moaning along with him.

  He didn’t allow her to taste him for long, though.

  With a growl, he pulled away and flipped her over.

  She lifted her butt in invitation, and after fumbling for a moment with the condom, he slipped into her wetness with a slow, measured pace.

  He filled her, practically touching her womb.

  He reached around her and toyed with her breasts as they danced with every thrust. With his other hand, he reached down and fingered her clit until the pressure built and built and built.

  “I’m gonna come.”

  “Me too, Ash. Jesuuuuuuus. Me tooooooo.”

  Their lovemaking culminated in fireworks so bright, she was blinded. Sweat dripped from her forehead as every muscle in her body tightened before giving out.

  She collapsed on the bed, completely and deliriously spent.

  He fell beside her, panting in her ear and resting his massive—and talented—hand on her lower back.

  “You are perfection,” he whispered. He punctuated his words with a sweet kiss above her ear. “Absolute perfection.”

  She rolled over and wrapped her arms around him. His sweat mingled with hers. She had never bathed in anything so glorious.

  He became still and quiet—so still and quiet that she thought maybe he fell asleep.

  “You have no idea how much I needed that.”

  His words, reverent and low, both startled and warmed her.

  “You had a bitch of a night,” she agreed. She wished their union had been about more than that, but if her only purpose in this town was to help him through that one terrible night in some small way, that was enough for her. She’d never lose the memory of these moments with him.

  What she felt for Asher was the closest she had ever been—and would ever be—to true love.

  And though she loved the idea of a happily-ever-after, she’d find a way to be satisfied with remembering the middle parts of her romantic tragedy.

  “Are you busy later? I’d like to have the papers signed for the ice cream shack.”

  She ran a hand over his forehead, smiling when he closed his eyes.

  “That’s a terrible idea, Asher.”

  His eyes jolted open. Confusion created lines around those beautiful, seductive eyes.

  “You didn’t think so before.”

  “That was before I knew about your dreams.”

  Asher laughed and sat up, retrieving his pants and kicking his way back into them.

  “Fantasies. That’s what they were. And they’re over. I’ve moved on.”

  Paisley reached out and placed a hand on his back.

  “You can’t give up, Asher. Your dreams are important. What you will contribute—what you do contribute—is so very important.”

  “It’s over, Paisley,” he snapped. “The whole thing was stupid. If you don’t want to buy the property, just say so. But don’t try to pep talk me. I’m over it.”

  “Why do you want me to buy the property now, Ash?”

  He wouldn’t look at her. He studied his hand as she slipped hers into it. He linked their fingers together, but he refused to look up.

  “Seems like the best option. You want it, and I want to be rid of anything that remains of my past.”

  Paisley studied him as he swirled his thumb over hers. This man lived in his past, more than most. From the aged wallpaper to the Ferrari. From his dad’s old garage that he clearly hadn’t needed anymore to the old wooden sofa in his house. Asher was not a man to let go so easily of the past.

  Maybe having his father’s place burn down was for the best.

  He never would have given up the ghosts.

  He never would have moved forward.

  “I appreciate the offer, but I would hate to see you not accomplish your dreams. Your very honorable dreams. The ones you’ve been working your ass off to accomplish.”

  He started to argue. She planted a kiss on his lips to stop him.

  “Besides, when I was trying to buy the place, I thought I might be making a home in Healing Springs. My plans have changed.”

  His grip on her hand tightened and his eyes jumped to her face, studying her as if seeing her clearly after drifting through a jungle of mist.

  “You’re not staying?”

  She couldn’t decipher his tone. She wanted to believe that he sounded sad, maybe remorseful, but there was an edge of bitterness and resentment.

  Though she considered herself to be a master at reading people, she couldn’t figure out how this case was proceeding.

  “My life is in Boston.” She inhaled deeply, breathing in the lingering and erotic scent of their lovemaking. She wished she could bottle the perfume—she never wanted to forget it. “My surgery is in a few days. I’ll come back here to recover, of course, but I’m needed on a big case that’s coming up. My boss has made that very clear.”

  She managed to squeeze a lighthearted laugh out past the sticky lump in her throat.

  “I want you to stay.”

  She stared at his face for a sign. Had she heard him right? Had he asked her to stay?

  He turned to face her better and took both hands in his.

  “I need you to stay, Paisley.”

  God, how she wanted to believe him. Maybe he even wanted to believe himself.

  She was madly in love. Irrevocably so.

  He was emotionally vulnerable. Alone in life with responsibilities no man should have to shoulder on his own.

  Terrible reasons to change the course he was on.

  She couldn’t take advantage of him when he was weak.

  Some loves were better off unreturned and unexpressed.

  She reached behind her to grab her shirt, pulling it on as some sort of makeshift shield. She knew the thin material wouldn’t protect her heart, but sitting here with him, naked and vulnerable, made her want to do everything but say goodbye.

  He watched while she shimmied into her shorts. He remained shirtless and distracting.

  “Asher, I have had an absolute blast with you. Even when we’ve been sparring, you’ve provided me the distraction I’ve needed. I will never, ever forget you. Ever.”

  “Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?” His words sounded choked. Tense. His eyes darkened and shined.

  He grabbed her hands in his again and squeezed to the point where his grip was almost painful.

  “Don’t you dare sound like you’re saying goodbye, Paisley Peterson. Not when we’re just beginning.”

  She shook her head and lowered her chin, grateful for the hair that shielded her face.

  She took a moment to compose herself. When she felt as though she could speak without breaking down into the worst kind of feminine drama, she met his gaze directly.

  “My life is about to change in ways I can’t even comprehend yet. You came to my life when I needed you most. You have been the greatest distraction, the most intense challenge, and you’ve taught me how to love.” She gulped past the words that threatened to choke her. She looked away, shocked at the pool of moisture that filled his bloodshot eyes. She forced herself to look back as she continued her goodbye speech. �
��Let’s face it, Asher. You have your family and your dreams here, and I’m going back to my law firm as soon as I’m healed. Your place in life is to take care of your family and to make the world better with your talents and hard work, and I belong in law.”

  She released a bitter laugh.

  “Trust me, it’s all I know how to do. Selling ice cream was a fun way to honor my mom, but it’s not for me. I thought writing would be a good outlet, but it turns out I suck.”

  “You can practice law here. Healing Springs could use a good lawyer.” He clamped his jaw tight, but she would never forget the pleading in his normally proud voice.

  “I’m not about to prop up a shingle with my name on it and become some small town hack of a lawyer. It’s not me.”

  He jerked away from her, shoved his arms into his shirt, and paced the room.

  She wanted to reach out to him, to tell him that he had so much to give the world and that she was so honored to have been in his life for the flicker of a moment they had shared. To tell him that if the timing had been different, maybe they could have made it work. To thank him for showing her that her heart worked just fine, even if the parts of her that made her a woman had turned into her greatest enemy.

  But she said nothing.

  Maybe the best way to end would be to end with anger. The same way they had started.

  She watched him shove his feet into his shoes. She watched him pick up his keys.

  She watched him slam his way out of her life.

  Without a goodbye.

  She curled up on her bed and breathed in the scent he had left behind. Burnt smoke and musky passion.

  She’d never forget him. And she’d never get over him.

  Life was too short for looking back and dwelling on regrets, so she cleaned herself up and began to pack her bag for the hospital. When she had everything she knew she wanted to bring, she sat at her computer and answered the backlog of emails her boss had been awaiting.

  Work would always be the one true love of her life.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Asher had let other people influence his life for far too long.

  No way would he allow Paisley to make all the decisions for him.

  He loved the stubborn, sexy, insane woman, no matter how much she drove him to want to shout sometimes.

  If she wouldn’t move to Healing Springs, he’d move to her.

  After hiring a case manager to work with his brother—he needed someone less biased to make sure Ricky followed through with what he needed to do—Asher spent all night drawing up a new blueprint for life.

  Paisley was right—he had dreams that needed to come to life. He had worked too hard to get the rehab going, and he couldn’t let one setback take it away from all the people who could be helped in the future.

  He had put out some feelers to a rehab facility in Concord. He had them just about convinced to start a satellite program, and though he wouldn’t be there for the day-to-day operation, he would compose the Mission Statement and set up the non-clinical programming that he felt was so important. More than a drug rehab. He considered his place a life rehab.

  And now it was time to rehab the mess he had made of his life.

  His life’s mission statement was simple to write.

  Win Paisley’s love.

  ***

  “Are you really sure, Pais?”

  Paisley closed the trunk and faced Reed.

  “We’ve discussed this at length, big sis.”

  Reed hesitated in a way that didn’t fit with her normally matter-of-fact persona. “I know. I trust you to always make the best decisions, and you haven’t wavered a bit. It’s just…”

  Paisley smiled at Reed’s not-so-subtle-but-probably-subconscious hand-on-belly gesture. She then reached over and covered her sister’s hands.

  “I can’t wait for this baby to grow big enough that it makes sense for you to hold your belly like that every five minutes.”

  Reed cocked her head, looking every inch the Earth Mother. Her eyes filled with sorrow as she studied Paisley’s face.

  “I understand why you want to have the mastectomy. That makes sense. But do you really want to give up the chance to have babies of your own? You’ve always wanted kids.” Reed sniffled, unable to stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. She had been a hormonal mess all summer long. “Don’t you think it’s worth putting off the other surgery? You don’t know that you’ll get cancer there.”

  Paisley pulled her concerned sister into her arms, hugging her with the ferocity of a protector. She kept her hands on Reed’s arms and hoped her sincerity showed on her face.

  “Reed, if I don’t have these surgeries, I’ll be constantly worrying. Obsessively waiting for the next bit of bad news. I’ll turn myself into an insane hypochondriac, and my life will never be as carefree as I’d like it to be.”

  Reed snorted at Paisley’s words. “Oh please—you know neither of us can be truly carefree.”

  “True,” Paisley agreed. “But I can’t live in the shadow of my diagnosis or potential diagnosis.”

  Reed nodded, awareness lighting up her eyes. She got it. Paisley figured she’d have made a similar decision if she had been dealt the same cards.

  “And to answer your question…” Paisley’s hands covered Reed’s belly again, savoring the warmth of a growing womb. Tears filled her eyes this time, and she hoped Reed didn’t misinterpret the emotion. “I’m okay with not giving birth if it means I can survive long enough to be the best damned auntie in the world.”

  A strangled sob slipped out of Reed, and her arms tightened around Paisley’s neck.

  “I love you, Pais.”

  “And I love you too, you brat.”

  When they had both shed enough tears to flood Healing Springs and had finally dried up, they did what they each did best—tried to pretend the whole emotional breakdown thing hadn’t happened.

  “Where the heck is Simplicity? We’re supposed to leave in ten minutes.”

  “You guys really don’t have to drive down with me. You can come down when everything is done.”

  “Like hell!” Reed managed to look offended, even with her puffy red face and smeared make-up. “Unless, of course, you prefer to have Asher drive you. In that case—and only in that case—I will not get in the way of true love and his alpha need to look out for you.”

  Paisley’s chuckle sounded foreign to her own ears, but she sent up a silent prayer of gratitude that she had run out of tears.

  “There’s no true love to get in the way of. But I’m perfectly capable of driving myself.”

  “No true love? I don’t need you to tell me what happened in your cottage after we took Izzy to the main house. I don’t know what led to the lover’s quarrel, but I’m not blind to passion.”

  Paisley got in the car. “Not open for discussion.”

  She slammed the door shut and started her car, prepared to pull out of the driveway if Reed insisted on talking about the one thing more painful than the life-altering surgery that was about to take place.

  Reed waved a white tissue against the window.

  Paisley opened the window a crack and faked a smile.

  “I accept your surrender. Now go grab your purse if you’re coming.”

  ***

  Asher shook the man’s warty and twisted hand and thanked him for showing him the place on such short notice.

  He handed over a check when he signed the paperwork.

  After parking his truck in the mall parking lot, he retrieved the list he had compiled from his internet research.

  When his shopping was complete, he drove to the hospital. Parking was a bitch, and he could now understand how Paisley had run into difficulties with his Ferrari.

  Asher shook his head. His poor Ferrari. At least it had had an adventure before getting totaled.

  The insurance agent had explained that he could buy the car back and fix it up again, but Asher was ready to let go of that chapter of his backstor
y.

  The past was the past. Paisley was his future.

  If she would have him.

  He carried in the duffel bag that doubled as a gift basket, and double-checked his pocket to make sure the little jewelry box hadn’t somehow grown legs and run away.

  He inhaled the sterile hospital air. He could do this.

  He had to do this.

  The nurse at the check-in desk directed him to Paisley’s room, but he was stopped by the guards outside her door.

  The sisters.

  He tried to smile a charming smile, but Asher knew he wasn’t a charming man. He nodded a greeting. Simplicity smiled, but Reed crossed her arms across her chest in a no-nonsense, don’t-fuck-with-me stance.

  They didn’t say anything. Apparently the dialogue was up to him.

  “Sorry about storming out the way I did the other day. I didn’t take the opportunity to thank you for helping with Izzy.”

  “Oh, you’re welcome!” Simplicity’s voice was high-pitched and sweet—very much unlike her two sisters.

  “Does Paisley know you’re coming, Asher?”

  Asher shook his head. “I wanted to surprise her.”

  “Oh, she’ll be surprised, all right.”

  He didn’t like the way Reed said that, as if Paisley would have a gun trained on his head and willingly blow his brains out.

  So be it.

  He would go down professing his love for her and begging her to forgive him for not telling her sooner.

  “Look, I know I’ve been an idiot. I’m sure you’ve heard all the shit I’ve pulled. All the accusations I’ve flung her way. But I need to make it up to Paisley. I’ve never been in love before, so I’ve been at a loss for how to behave.”

  “Back up, cowboy. You love her?”

  Reed’s glare shot bullet holes into his protective armor, but even if she pierced his heart, it wouldn’t hurt as much as not telling Paisley how he felt would torture him.

  “Have you told her this?”

  “No.”

  Reed turned toward Simplicity. They exchanged a look that Asher had no hope of translating or understanding. He thought Simplicity was on his side, though, based on the way she pressed her hands to her mouth and her cheeks pushed her eyes upward at the corners. She exuded a positive energy that charged the air.